Almost a Month

I've been home for almost a month. It does not seem that long, and in some ways it feels like Tanzania was just a dream that I had. A very long, beautiful dream.

There are definitely good things about being home. I had a wonderful time over the holidays with my family, New Year's Eve was great, I got to visit Galena with Carissa, Sumner and I rocked out at my house for a day. It's nice not breaking a sweat in between the shower and your room. Hooded sweatshirts, jeans. All good things.

But on the other hand, I miss Tanzania. I miss my floor and the wonderful women that lived there. I actually miss the food, all earlier complaints aside. (Which is not to say that I don't enjoy some of the food here) I miss swahili, the smells, the ocean. I miss that going downtown was always an adventure. I miss hearing bongo flava on the daladalas. The University was beautiful, I miss that. I miss waking up and feeling the breeze in my face in my room.

I have a lot of stuff. A car full of stuff in fact, some of which I will use once this semester and that's it. What the heck?

This next part may sound weird. It is weird. Every once in a while, I'm still jolted by the abundance of white people. I live in communities where white is the majority, where people of color are firmly the minority. It's strange to not be stared at, to stand out in the crowd, to be noticed. It is odd to me that after only 5 months I adjusted to people noticing me, and here I blend.

I'm taking recording original music this jterm. I know that it seems like a waste of time because it doesn't apply at all to my degree and sounds like a slacker course. But its helpful for me I think. I have time to think about this past semester, to process and digest and try to incorporate everything I've learned, everything I'm still learning into my life.

My parents got me a great book for christmas, it's called the Fate of Africa and is a historical overview of the past 50 years in Africa. Basically it's an overview of the transition from colonial government to independence. It's been very informative so far.

I want to go back to Tanzania at some point in my life. I would love to work there, live there, if only for a year.

Some of the African women at Luther told me that any time I want to go back to East Africa, I just let them know and they will call their aunts and uncles and help set me up with places to stay, people to visit. So who knows, I keep in touch with them and I could visit East Africa on a shoestring, as long as I can get over there. In a few years maybe.

Anyways. I'm not sure if anyone will continue reading here, but I'll keep posting occasionally, either memories from Tanzania, frustrations, reverse culture shock, all that kind of stuff.

Last Post from Tanzania

Yes indeed, this is my last post from Tanzania.
I've been trying to post earlier this week but Blogger wasn't cooperating.
This week has been wonderful. I had one exam on Sunday, but other than that I haven't had any other exams. Last night the African Dance, African Drumming and Music Ensemble classes all had their final exam/performances. It was pretty entertaining. I have some video footage that I could possibly use as blackmail against the other LCCT students. Though some of them also might be quite proud of it.

Tomorrow will be my last day. Tonight will be my last night. I haven't really figured out what I'm doing. I might just hang out with my roommate, Wendi and Wendi's roommate Carol. Some international students are planning on going out, but that's not really up my alley. At least, not if it's going out in the dancing sense. Which it probably will be.

I don't think it's really hit me yet that I'm leaving tomorrow, getting on a plane and coming back who knows when. And that's ok. I'm looking forward to seeing my friends and family, I'm going to have an amazing Jterm, and next semester should be great. Next year I'll hopefully live off-campus, and then the year after that, who knows? Life is exciting.

Just as an update, for Jterm I'm taking a class called recording original music. Along with Sumner, I'll be recording a short CD of our band, Something from Oz when Sumner visits Luther. I'll probably also record some stuff on my own, though it'd be great if I could convince one of my friends who can actually sing to sing while I play. So that's Jterm.

I think I will still post on this later this semester, maybe about adjusting back to the US. So feel free to check back every once in a while.

I started going through some of closet a few days ago. Irene, in her typical fashion, made fun of me. She told me I was too excited to go home and that it made her sad. I told her I was both, sad and excited. We joked for a little bit, and I told her she could go through my clothes and take anything she wanted, except for the Tanzania football jersey. She ended up taking one of my shirts. Then she told me something very profound. She said "Amy, you should pack up everything else. Everything else except for one thing. Do you know what that is? Do you know what you should leave here?"
"No, what should I leave here?"
"Your heart."

10 days, what?!?

So. In 10 days from now I'll be leaving Tanzania. What?! I don't really know what happened to the time. It flew by. I know that I've been here for a while, and it's wonderful. It's just weird to think about leaving and not knowing when I'll come back. I'm excited to go home, but I'm also nervous. It's entirely possible I'll have a harder time adjusting to the US than to here.

Partially, I don't know what to tell people when they ask me "how was Tanzania?" I'm sure I'll be asked that, or some variety. I mean, really the only response I have right now is "do you have a few hours to sit down?" "Tanzania was good" isn't really the answer I want to give.

last night some of the women on my program were hanging out in my room, listening to music. my roommate irene was eating her dinner. we put on a bongo flava CD one of my friends copied for me. I put on "Dahabu" by Dulley Sykes, Irene turned the music up loud and started a dance party. she's a crazy woman. i will miss her. she tried to teach me how to "shake it." that was really.. interesting. i was not really all that excited about the lesson. according to some of the people in the room, it was one of the funniest things they've seen here. she gave up on me, and just laughed at me instead.

monday i was walking around the mwenge bus terminal because i was dropping kitenge off at a tailor to make a skirt for my sister (sisters are hard to buy for). this man saw me walking down the street, decided to unzip his pants and whip out his genitals, touch himself and then wiggle his hips and it at me. i was a little upset about that.

there was a mwezi (thief) who stole hair dryers from the salon in hall three last night as well around 2 am. it was a big deal. he stole three of the hair dryers before someone saw him and screamed. apparently he got away though. I'm not really sure why hair dryers were worth stealing, but I guess he could always sell them in Kariakoo.

Things are hopping around UDSM. The Tanzanian students are starting to study harder than ever. i kind of feel bad, because i only have research for my project left and i go off to kariakoo and mwenge and my roommate is either in the room studying, in the library studying, or at class. though her brothers graduated last weekend, so she was busy with her family. i got to go to their graduation party, meet irene's family. that was fun. there was a lot of random dancing, and speeches.

Tonight I'm going out to dinner at a place called the Red Onion with one of the international students, named Mark. He's cool, and I've ditched him twice when we were supposed to hang out because I wasn't feeling well. Today I am feeling good though, so I think it will actually work.

Tomorrow I am going to a market with some of the people on my program. I'm not a huge shopper, but I like wandering around markets so it should be fun.

List

Things I will miss
-daladalas
-the glass soda bottles being reused
-tanzanian fashion, everything matches
-my primary school class of 50 kids
-tea
-the view from the 8th floor in hall three
-mangos
-walking

today I'm going downtown for some time to just walk.. and relax. it should be fun. i think i want to just go and chill. our program director is allowing us to type our research papers when we get back to the US.. so we can breathe a little easier and don't need to live in the computer labs. which is nice.
i'm stuck. i feel like i want to come home but i don't want to leave either. it's difficult. and i'm not really sure how to better explain it.
Tanesco, the electrical company, went bankrupt last friday. the power situation is iffy.
i wish i had a guitar here.

You know it's amazing how time passes in Tanzania. I have so much less to do than in the United States, but time seems to go by faster. For example, I can't believe that my semester is almost over. It really feels like I got off the bus from Arusha a few weeks ago, not a few months ago. When I think about it, I know that a lot of time has gone by and that I've done a lot. Maybe it feels different because in the United States I am busy all the time. There were times last year when I planned at the beginning of the week when I was going to hang out with my friends. There were times when I counted extracurricular meetings as hanging out with my friends. That is indicative of something. Here, I have to try to fill my day up.

The little rainy season is upon us. Thursday night I went to a chinese restaurant called Zhonghua with Katy, Brittany, Kelly and Amanda. Brittany had returned from visiting a friend with cancer in the US. The food was ok, nothing spectacular. They had tofu, which was exciting to me. I know, I know that some of you think tofu shouldn't be a food, but I think that if it's served well, it can be very tasty. When we were waiting for a daladala, it started pouring. We were at Udasa waiting for either a daladala or a cab. We were soaked within seconds, before we were able to cross the street to get under the daladala shelter. I like the rain here. When it rains, Tanzanians start running for the nearest shelter. Some women in my dorm don't go to class when it's raining. I've been told I'm crazy for walking around without an umbrella.

So I've been thinking more about leaving Tanzania. I think part of the reason it will be difficult is that I've just settled in, adjusted, started to feel comfortable. Which is not to say that I still don't feel uncomfortable at times, on the contrary, I think it's just that I am ok with being uncomfortable in some situations. I've finally figured out how to go almost anywhere I want by daladala, and I know what most taxi rides should cost me. But on the other hand, I'm also realizing that I miss my homes. I say homes because I miss my home in Mequon, and I also miss Luther. On a sidenote, I remember the first time freshman year when I unthinkingly called going back to Luther after break "going home."

Other news.. I'm going to be the deacon of global concerns next semester for the Luther College Congregation. That should be interesting.

The mother of one of the women in my program is visiting her for a week or so. We are going out to dinner with her tonight. It should be fun. It makes me think about when my mom and sister were going to possibly visit Tanzania, what I would show them if they had visited. Maybe someday I can show them parts of Tanzania. At least Dar. Though I would love to take my family to Lake Nyasa, because it's one of the most beautiful places in the world that I've ever been.

Either way. I'm going off to the library. I'm trying to read as widely as I can in my immense amount of spare time and it's time for a new selection of books. Right now I'm reading about the beginning of the IMF and the World Bank. Next I think I will read Marx and Engels. What the library lacks in new resources, they make up in having almost everything ever written by Marx. Which makes sense because of Tanzania's history as a socialist state. Nonetheless, it makes for interesting reading.